Ha ha, April Fools!

Since 6:45 this morning the day has gone like this:

"Mom, I don't really like pancakes.
Ha ha, April Fools!"

"Mom, I think Cevin is a terrible bird.
Ha ha, April Fools!"

"Mom, I spilled hot chocolate all over the floor.
Ha ha, April Fools!"

"Mom, the TV is broken.
Ha ha, April Fools!"

You get the idea...

On another note, she did attempt to make me a coffee this morning (she loves the buttons on the Tassimo coffee maker). I remember replacing the sugar with salt once on April Fools day when I was a kid. I wonder if secretly that was her intent...

Grandpa's Road Rage

This morning while we were getting ready to leave...

Kyla: "Mom, one time when I was riding in my Grandpa's truck he said bad words about the slow driver in front of him. Like the G word..."

Me: "G word?"

Kyla: "Oops, the J word. And he said the F word. And he said the H-A word."

Me: "H-A word?"

Kyla: "Ya, you know. H-A-T-E."

Sheesh Grandpa... It's a good thing she never hears her mother use those words...

Playing Marriage

Kyla got in trouble at daycare this week for kissing a boy.

When I quizzed her on it later, the explaination was that she was "playing marriage" with the boy and that to make the game real they had to kiss.

Perhaps now it's time to play divorce...

Getting Pregnant

Kyla: Grandma, guess what? My Mom's pregnant.
Grandma: Oh. Really? How did that happen?
Kyla: Well, she just went pee on a stick and it said she was pregnant.

For the record, Kyla's Mom is not pregnant. But we thought her understanding of how one gets pregnant was kind of funny.

No Booze Please

Two years ago we were in Cuba... which seems awfully lovely considering it's minus 37 with the windchill this morning.

One of the great Kyla-isms of that trip was Kyla going up to the bartender and saying "I'll take a pina colada please, but with no booze".

Spelling Sentences

The spelling word was "wood".
The sentence she came up with was "What big wood".

Always check your kids homework.

The Junk!

The big story of today's school day was all about how there was a fight between two of the boys in Kyla's grade 2 class. Kyla was graphically describing how one boy tripped the other and the hitting that went along with. And then she comes out with, "And Mom. Then he swung back his leg and kicked the other boy right in the junk!"

Where she learned that from, I do not know!

Grown Ups

Today’s question…

Kyla: Mom, when do people become grown ups? Like how old will I be when I’m a grown up?

Me: Legally. 18. But everyone starts acting like a grown up at different ages.

Kyla: So how do I know though? Is it once I grow boobs?

The Perfect Family

Quote of the morning:

"Do you know what I think Mom? I think a kid, a mom and a bird make the perfect home. And the perfect family."

Really? Could I ask for a better child? She rocks.

Skype

About a month ago I set Kyla up with her own Skype account on her iPod touch. I did it mostly with the intent of her being able to video conference family memebers. She's come up with her own way of using it though and enjoys "texting" people when they're offline.

I came into work this morning to find a stream of messages sent at 6:35 am (while I was in the shower) which read:

Wash your body
Make sure you wash your but
Ha ha

Kids and technology...

Fatten Up

In the last 6 months Kyla has become more interested in candy than before. I told her this afternoon that she needed to lay off the candy because she'd been pounding it all weekend. Her response to that was "Who cares! I need to fatten up anyway!"

Pigs

While in the line-up at Winners, I got suckered into the point of purchase crap sitting next to the till and bought a pair of tongs with a little pig head on them. I figured Kyla would love them, and that we had been pulling corn out of a pot with two forks for long enough.

Tonight we decided to have BLT’s for dinner. Kyla walked into the kitchen as I was cooking bacon (with the new tongs) and stared at me with the dirtiest look imaginable. “Mom, you can’t cook bacon with those things! You’re cooking a pig with a pig!”

One of those days

I’d had an insane week at work, traffic was brutal on the way home, and I had just fallen through a snow bank into knee-deep icy cold water. I was freezing, grumpy and filthy.

When we walked through door, I set Kyla up with a snack and some cartoons – poured a glass of wine and went to have a bath. Within 3 minutes of being in the tub, Cevin was sitting on the curtain rod whistling “Jingle Bells” and Kyla had entered with the “Guess Who” boards ready to play.

Note to self: Next time lock the door.

Being Seven

Everyday I have a moment of amazement as I watch Kyla and observe how grown up she is becoming. She reads, writes, types and Skypes. She’s helpful and likes to organize. She knows how to work the DVD player and the microwave. We have “grown-up” conversations. Sometimes I forget she’s only 7.

And then we walked to daycare this morning and she barked and panted like a dog the entire way there. Yup, she’s still 7.

Lipstick

It was Kyla’s dance recital this weekend. Her studio has fairly detailed hair and make-up requirements (I felt like a creep putting mascara and red lipstick on my 7-year-old). I had sent a few things (including lipstick and eye shadow) with her for one of the volunteers to help her touch up her make-up prior to the show if necessary.

When I went to pick her up backstage after the show, I noticed the red lipstick circle AROUND her lips and the eye shadow that expanded down to her temples. I look at her, smiled and asked if she touched up her own make-up. “Yes! Didn’t I do a great job?”

Dinner Time

As usual, Kyla was refusing to eat dinner. I tried to pull the line my parents had used on me dozens of times about starving people in Africa. Kyla simply responded with "Well it's a good thing I'm not a starving kid in Africa"

The Cell Phone

Kyla asked me today if she could have a cell phone. Apparently a number of her friends at both school and daycare have them. My Dad informed me later that when I was 7 all I wanted was a Light-Brite. Kids have changed.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

This afternoon Cevin dumped his dish of bird seed all over the floor (again). Kyla started to discipline him and I realized she sounded exactly like me.

J-Walking

Tonight we went skating on the outdoor rink at the community center just down the road from us. On the way there (as we were crossing the road) Kyla blurts out “j-walking is ruining the world”. Enough said.

Where do boobs come from?

Kyla takes a jazz / hip-hop class and dances every Saturday. She currently dances at a 2-Star level and today they got to watch some of the older kids dance. “Mom, the 5-star dancers are really good. And some of them have even grown their boobs already!”

Hmm...

“Mom, why can’t 7-year-olds mate?”

Do You Love Me?

Today Kyla wrote me a letter. It said:

Deer mom

threw all the years i have never loved anywone better.
Do you love me?
hehehe hehehehe
I no you love me.

From: Kyla
to: Mom

Bieber Fever

Tonight Kyla had one of her friends come to sleep over. I had to referee a fight between the two of them as to who loved Justin Bieber more. I swear I wasn’t boy crazy until I had at least reached the double digits.

Faking Sick

It was -35 degree’s this morning. Kyla came and crawled into my bed “choo choo”. Sorry Kyla, you’re going to have to learn to fake sick a little better than that if you want to stay home.

Puppies vs Babies

The evening news tonight was doing a piece on the one year anniversary since the Haiti earthquake. A portion of this was a segment on the abandoned babies. Kyla asked why these babies had been abandoned and I tried to explain that their mother’s couldn’t care for them and had left them. This bothered her.

Later at the dinner table she says “I’ve been doing some thinking. Maybe instead of getting a puppy, we should adopt a Haiti baby.”

The Bird Ate My Homework

“Cevin! That’s my spelling homework!”

I entered the room only to discover that the bird had in fact eaten Kyla’s homework. (Okay, only the corner)

The Truth About Cooties

On the way from school today Kyla informed me that a boy from school was in love with her – and that she was in love with him. She told me they intended to get married one day. I tried to explain to her that boys were bad, they had cooties and she should stay far, far away from them. At that point she stopped walking, looked at me and said “Mom, boys do not have cooties, they have a penis”. Okay then…

Little Helper

This morning I came into the kitchen after blow-drying my hair to find Kyla packing both our lunches. She’s a great kid.